Be
a Hero for a Better World ... Every Act of Kindness Makes
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CONFLICT
RESOLUTION
Negotiation
in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious
to agree than to disagree
-- Dean Acheson
Start
out with an ideal and end up with a deal.
-- Karl Albrecht
Tactics
mean doing what you can with what you have...tactics
is the art of how to take and how to give.
-- Saul
Alinsky
*
Change
means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the
frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world
can movement or change occur without that abrasive
friction of conflict.
-- Saul
Alinsky
“The
Law of Win/Win says, ”Let’s not do it your way or my way;
let’s do it the best way”
-- Greg Anderson
*
Terrorism
constitutes a direct attack on the values the UN stands
for: the rule of law; the protection of civilians; peaceful
resolution of conflicts; and mutual respect between
people of different faiths and cultures,”
-- Kofi
Annan
*
Mediation
and reconciliation work is about a profound quest
for justice and social transformation. But at the
same time, they are about service, solidarity, about
exploring and rediscovering the human spirit that
has been lost or shattered through human conflict,
cruelty, ignorance and greed…
-- Hizkias
Assefa
The
most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making
sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the
facts.
-- Howard Baker
*
If
you start a conversation with the assumption that
you are right or that you must win, obviously it is
difficult to talk.
~ Wendell
Berry
*
There
is no time left for anything but to make peace
work a dimension of our every waking activity
-- Elise
Boulding
If
you can’t go around it, over it, or through it, you had
better negotiate with it.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
“Meditation
brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know
well what leads you forward and what hold you back, and
choose the path that leads to wisdom.
-- Buddha
All
government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every
virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise
and barter.
-- Edmund Burke
*
“Unless
both sides win, no agreement can be permanent.”
~ Jimmy
Carter
“One
of the most basic principles for making and keeping
peace within and between nations. . . is that in political,
military, moral, and spiritual confrontations, there
should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat”
~ Jimmy
Carter
*
“Unless
both sides win, no agreement can be permanent.”
~ Jimmy
Carter
Difficulties
are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is
to grow strong by conflict.
-- William Ellery Channing
*
“If
you believe in a security strategy -- a strategy of
more friends and fewer enemies, a strategy of greater
cooperation and a strategy of keeping America better
at home as we grow more diverse -- we have to build
the minds and hearts to build this kind of world.”
~ Bill
Clinton
*
Only
reverence can restrain violence — reverence for human
life and the environment.
-- William
Sloane Coffin
Peace
produced by suppression is neither natural nor desirable.
-- Anna Julia Cooper
*
The
reality today is that we are all interdependent and
have to co-exist on this small planet. Therefore, the
only sensible and intelligent way of resolving differences
and clashes of interests, whether between individuals
or nations, is through dialogue.
- The
Dalai Lama
*
The
reality today is that we are all interdependent and
have to co-exist on this small planet. Therefore,
the only sensible and intelligent way of resolving
differences and clashes of interests, whether between
individuals or nations, is through dialogue.
- The
Dalai Lama
I
feel very strongly that you can't just beat people
up anymore; you have to work hand in hand and find
ways to compromise, and get big business involved,
because it won't happen otherwise.
-- Ted
Danson
*
Gandhi
once declared that it was his wife who unwittingly
taught him the effectiveness of nonviolence. Who better
than women should know that battles can be won without
resorting to physical strength.
-- Barbara
Deming
Adopt
a new philosophy of cooperation (win-win) in which everybody
wins
-- W. Edwards Deming
There
is more than a verbal tie between the words common,
community, and communication.... Try the experiment
of communicating, with fullness and accuracy, some experience
to another, especially if it be somewhat complicated,
and you will find your own attitude toward your experience
changing.
-- John
Dewey
"The
most important thing in communication is to hear what
isn't being said."
-- Peter
F. Drucker
*
"I
wish that the Resolving Conflict Creatively Program
could be taught in every classroom in America, because
we are not going to deal with the violence in our
communities, our homes, and our nation, until we learn
to deal with the basic ethic of how we resolve our
disputes and to place an emphasis on peace in the
way we relate to one another."
-- Marian
Wright Edelman
Every
kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily
based on mutual trust and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police”
-- Albert
Einstein
Peace
cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved through
understanding.
-- Albert
Einstein
*
"There's
been a quantum leap technologically in our age, but
unless there's another quantum leap in human relations,
unless we learn to live in a new way towards one another,
there will be a catastrophe."
-- Albert
Einstein
*
Peace
cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved through
understanding.
-- Albert
Einstein
*
People
talk about the middle of the road as though it were
unacceptable. Actually, all human problems, excepting
morals, come into the gray areas. Things are not all
black and white. There have to be compromises. The
middle of the road is all of the usable surface. The
extremes, right and left, are in the gutters.
-- Dwight
D. Eisenhower
“Though
force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness,
consideration and cooperation can finally lead men
to the dawn of eternal peace.”
-- Dwight
D. Eisenhower
Blessed
is the man who having nothing to say, abstains from giving
in words evidence of the fact.
-- George Elliot.
*
We
need to learn and to show others that there are tried
and tested, powerful ways of containing and resolving
conflict which do not require the use of force.
-- Scilla
Elworthy
More
and more individuals worldwide are realizing that war does
not solve conflict, nor resolve long-standing cycles of
violence. As more of those who have this understanding communicate
it to policy-makers and more particularly, start implementing
it in their own lives and localities, change will start
to happen.
-- Scilla
Elworthy
If governments
were kind, they'd realize that conficts are resolved and
wars prevented not by armies but by ordinary people.
-- Scilla
Elworthy
*
The
god of Victory is said to be one-handed, but Peace
gives victory to both sides.
-- Ralph
Waldo Emerson
He who
has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered
the most valuable secret of a diplomat.
-- Robert Estabrook
There
are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise,
and integration. By domination only one side gets what it
wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by
integration we find a way by which both sides may get what
they wish.
-- Mary Parker Follett
*
When
will mankind be convinced and agree to settle their
difficulties by arbitration?
-- Benjamin
Franklin
The
most constructive solutions are those which take into consideration
the views of all persons involved and are acceptable to
all. Such outcomes are the result of negotiation strategies
where the needs of both sides are considered important and
an attempt is made to meet all needs. These solutions are
appropriately called Win-Win because there are no losers.
While often difficult to arrive at, the process leading
to such solutions builds interpersonal relationships, increases
motivation and improves commitment. Win-Win solutions are
the most desirable outcomes of conflict resolution.
-- Peter Gabor and Carol Ing
*
Courtesy
towards opponents and eagerness to understand their
view-point is the ABC of non-violence.
~ Mohandas
Gandhi
Non-cooperation
is a measure of discipline and sacrifice, and it demands
respect for the opposite views.
~ Mohandas
Gandhi
Whenever
you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with
love."
~ Mohandas
Gandhi
Whenever
you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with
love."
~ Mohandas
Gandhi
Negotiation
talks are the best way to solve anything. We must
replace wars and weapons with negotiations and talks.
~ Akbar
Ganji
A
balance of interests rather than a balance of power,
a search for compromise and concord rather than a
search for advantages at other people's expense, and
respect for equality rather than claims to leadership
- such are the elements which can provide the groundwork
for world progress…
~ Mikhail
Gorbachev
*
To
resolve such conflicts peacefully in our interdependent
– or what I would like to call our intra-interdependent
– world requires not just well-chosen words but sustained
and unified action.
~ Prince
Hassan bin Talal
"Truth
springs from argument amongst friends."
-- David Hume
A
world community can exist only with world communication,
which means something more than extensive short-wave
facilities scattered ;about the globe. It means common
understanding, a common tradition, common ideas, and
common ideals.
-- Robert
Maynard Hutchins (1899-1977)
“You
can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes
you might find you get what you need.”
-- Mick Jagger & Keith Richards
"Whenever
you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that
can make the difference between damaging your relationship
and deepening it. That factor is attitude."
-- William James
*
"
Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never
fear to negotiate
-- John
F. Kennedy
*
"
Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never
fear to negotiate
-- John
F. Kennedy
*
Man
must evolve for all human conflict a method which
rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. -- Martin
Luther King, Jr
True
peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is
the presence of justice. -- Martin
Luther King, Jr
During
a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally.
If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to
see opportunities more objectively.
-- Brian Koslow
*
We
found out that the young people who had a substantial
number of lessons in the Resolving Conflict Creatively
Curriculum ... not only did better in terms of people
skills, that they managed their emotions, they were
less violent and more caring, but they actually
did better on their academic achievement tests.
~ Linda
Lantieri
Emotional
intelligence in the work that we do, in the Resolving
Conflict Creatively Program, is about equipping young
people with the kinds of skills they need to both identify
and manage their emotions, to communicate those emotions
effectively, and to resolve conflict nonviolently. So
it's a whole set of skills and competencies that, for
us, fall under the umbrella of emotional intelligence.
~ Linda
Lantieri
We're
finally learning that it is not an either-or situation
... Feelings and learning and emotion are all very integral
to each other."
~ Linda
Lantieri
*
"...We
can work it out. Life is very short, and there's
no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."
-- John
Lennon & Paul
McCartney
*
"Discourage
litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise
whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal
winner is often a real loser -- in fees, expenses,
and waste of time."
-- Abraham
Lincoln
Conflict
is inevitable, but combat is optional.
-- Max Lucado
Only free men can negotiate; prisoners cannot enter
into contracts. Your freedom and mine cannot be
separated.
-- Nelson
Mandela
*
If
you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his
language, that goes to his heart.
-- Nelson
Mandela
To
obtain a just compromise, concession must not only mutual--it
must be equal also....There can be no hope that either
will yield more than it gets in return.
-- Supreme Court Justice John Marshall
*
"...We
can work it out. Life is very short, and there's
no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."
-- Paul
McCartney & John
Lennon
*
“Dialogue
is the only way to end war and terror. We need practical
solidarity with those who are weaker and diplomacy
from below.”
-- Luisa
Morgantini
"Bringing
a problem to resolution and closure through continued
discussion and compromise is an honorable act as
it shows respect for the needs of both partners."
-- Lynne
Namka (AngriesOut.com)
"Bringing
a problem to resolution and closure through continued
discussion and compromise is an honorable act as
it shows respect for the needs of both partners."
-- Lynne
Namka (AngriesOut.com)
Though
we all have the fear and the seeds of anger within
us, we must learn not to water those seeds and instead
nourish our positive qualities – those of compassion,
understanding, and loving kindness.
-- Thich
Nhat Hanh
The
practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the
most vital and artistic of human actions.”
-- Thich
Nhat Hanh
*
To
reconcile conflicting parties, we must have the
ability to understand the suffering of both sides.
--
Thich
Nhat Hanh
"The
harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.
What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it
is dearness only that gives everything its value.
I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can
gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection.
'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he
whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves
his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
-- Thomas
Paine.
I
go back to what Mrs. Roosevelt taught me: 'Always
compromise, but compromise upwards.' -- Esther
Peterson
"You're in a much better position to talk with people
when they approach you than when you approach them." -- Peace
Pilgrim
*
"This
is the way of peace: Overcome evil with good, falsehood
with truth, and hatred with love." -- Peace
Pilgrim
*
"This
is the way of peace: Overcome evil with good, falsehood
with truth, and hatred with love." -- Peace
Pilgrim
*
“When
will our consciences grow so tender that we will
act to prevent human misery rather than avenge
it?”
-- Eleanor
Roosevelt
*
We
have to face the fact that either all of us are
going to die together or we are going to learn
to live together and if we are to live together
we have to talk.
-- Eleanor
Roosevelt
*
"If
civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the
science of human relationships - the ability of all
peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same
world at peace."
-- Franklin
D. Roosevelt
"I
found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating
a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied:
'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's
fair.' In these words he epitomized the history
of the human race." -- Bertrand
Russell
*
For
love of domination we must substitute equality;
for love of victory we must substitute justice;
for brutality we must substitute intelligence;
for competition we must substitute cooperation.
We must learn to think of the human race as one
family. -- Bertrand
Russell
“The
only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.” -- Bertrand
Russell
"To
observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's
education. It helps him to understand and accept his own
occasional hostilities and to realize that differing opinions
need not imply an absence of love."
-- Milton R. Saperstein
Conflicts
are a normal part of life; how we deal with them
can make a big difference. Often when people resolve
conflicts, one person ends up a winner, and one
loses out. This may solve the problem for the moment,
but resentment and bad feelings can cause more problems
later. Another way to look at conflicts is to try
to find a WIN-WIN solution, in which both sides
can benefit. In this way, conflicts are turned into
opportunities to grow and make things better. This
approach is the cornerstone of "conflict resolution"
- an important tool for bringing peace into our
personal lives, our communities and to our world.
-- Robert
Alan Silverstein
I
will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o'war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.
-- Shel Silverstein
*
One
of the basic causes for all the trouble in the world
today is that people talk too much and think too
little. They act impulsively without thinking. I
always try to think before I talk.
-- Margaret
Chase Smith
Peace
is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative
alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives
to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.
-- Dorothy Thompson
*
If
you have nothing to say, say nothing.
-- Mark
Twain
The
story of the human race is characterized by efforts to
get along much more than by violent disputes, although
it's the latter that makes the history books. Violence
is actually exceptional. The human race has survived because
of cooperation, not aggression.
-- Gerard Vanderhaar
You
can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be
a victor without having victims.
-- Harriet Woods
“Cooperation
means win-win, confrontation means lose-lose.”
-- Zhu Feng