37. AFTER THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ENDING
All right, so there you have it. The happily ever after ending that every good book should have.
Now, it might not seem so happy with the universe ending and all. But as Shadow told me before, we all YODEL to some distant future, where Mary and I live a somewhat normal life (anything would be more normal than the outlandish adventures I'd just been through!).
Although most of the loose ends have been tied together, you're probably tripping over a few as you get ready to close the book and go back to your world.
Like, do we ever really get rescued?
And what exactly is the significance of that borrowed literary invention, "hiara pirlu resh kavawn"? Will it matter if George discovers that Mary's never heard of it and therefore doesn't pass this true-love litmus-test. And what if Mary has her own secret true-love password stolen from a book that she's read that George is unaware of. Will it cause their happily ever-after love to fade as they discover they're not really who they thought they were?
And, is there really such a thing as happily ever after? I mean, our heroes, George Chronicles (me), if that really is his (my) name and Mary (we never did find our her last name, now did we?) seem to have found each other. Mary (whom we never really got to find out much about, as she spent most of the book as an orange vegetable) didn't turn into a pumpkin again when the clock struck 12. But maybe she forgot to set her watch for daylight savings time. Maybe an hour later she turned back into a pumpkin. Did you think of that?
And also, Shadow said not to worry that the universe was coming to an end -- we'd all just YODEL to another one. But we never did determine whether George (now is that me, or I?) was actually living these crazy adventures, or whether they were supposed to be a dream dreamt from a safe place where he and Mary were fast asleep on a balmy summer's night after having a bit too much to drink, or something along those lines.
And besides, what do they mean they lived happily ever after? What happened to them?
I don't know.
Now, you may be wondering, if I am George Chronicles, your Narrator for all these pages, how could I not know the answers to these and other loose ends surely left untied?
Well, to be perfectly honest, I am George Chronicles, but in another sense, I'm not.
What I mean is, I'm your First-Person-Narrator, and so we've experienced these adventures together, you and I, but I'm also detached from the experiences, as I'm the Narrator.
Just what is that supposed to mean, you may wonder. Did George exist, or didn't he? Is he just a story made up by a bored writer somewhere in Reality?
"JUST A STORY!"
I assure you, there is no such thing as just a story.
As George and I both discovered, there are many universes and possible realities out there. What you may consider as your objective reality, is merely a subjective reality for everyone else.
I know, more philosophical babble. And wouldn't the book have been so much more intelligible without it all? But think about it.
If you've read this far, then George existed. I mean you've read it from the first person singular, that is through me your Narrator, and thus while reading it, in your mind you were, vicariously of course, George (and me, the Narrator, too, I might add).
But then, conversely, while you were vicariously experiencing George's life, George could very well have been dreaming your everyday life as a story, too. So maybe it's you who doesn't exist.
Anyway, philosophy aside, the point is, I don't know what happens next, or what the truth really is. As a Narrator, I'm kind of limited to whatever exists here in this book.
But, I'd really like to find out. I sort of have a vested interest in George's life; I don't really exist without his living through you.
So, if you happen to see an incredibly happy young man with a beautiful wife (they don't have to be named George and Mary, because I'm not even sure that's what their names really are -- you know changing names to protect the innocent, and all), do us both a favor and ask them what happened.
Or maybe you'll meet George (or one of the many-Georges) before he found his True Love, while he wandered aimlessly, searching for a destination in life. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you please give him a few words of encouragement and hope? Those kind words could be an important step in his finding her that the book didn't bring up, and maybe he won't have to go through so much disappointment and confusion.
Or, you might meet our heroes at any stage in life (remember, there are an awful lot of Georges bouncing around out there).
So, please keep your eyes open.
But then again, you can probably find out exactly what happens to George and Mary in the sequel: George and Mary — the saga of their love continues through confusion and mayhem, joy and happiness, and more rambling and philosophical musings hidden in nonsense and thrown at you in blatant preaching...etc., etc.
Or will it be called Here's what happened after the happily ever after ending and before The End.
Or maybe it'll just be WE'RE BACK...Does anybody really care?
Or...Heck, how do I know what it'll be called. It hasn't been written yet, so I, your Narrator, don't exist in it yet. So how can I really say?
(Oops...NEWS FLASH!
This has been added at a later date, after the sequel was started, but before it was finished. So I don't know yet what happens, but I do know the title will be: After Happily Ever After...so don't forget to look for it, although you may have to look a little hard, as I'm sure you'll admit, these George Adventures are a little on the bizarre side, and thus not exactly your typical mainstream best-seller list trash.)
Anyway, thanks for reading. You've certainly brightened my day, given me a reason for living, and all that...
I know, I hate long goodbyes too, and I'd really like to say I'll miss you, but unfortunately, since I won't exist until we meet again, I'm afraid I won't be able to miss you.
So keep me somewhere in the back of your mind, or scribble little notes to me in the margins until the next book comes out, or whatever, but please...
Please...
Please don't forget me.
Thanks.
Until we meet again.
Bye...
So long...
OK, OK, I'm going.
(Hey, you know it's kind of dark and quiet here after the story's over.
Oh, well, good night.)
Yes, it's still me. Sorry. But I have an important announcement.
Since you've read this far, do yourself a favor. Skip Chapter 38. It's not really the final chapter at all. It's actually the first chapter.
I'm telling it over because some people just read the last few pages of a book to decide whether it's OK to read or not.
Now that really spoils it for us Narrators, I can tell you! I mean I may never get to live that way.
But then again, this book didn't exactly start off with a bang, if you know what I mean. You know, it kind of grows on you, right?
So maybe I'll lose some readers who start in the back. But I would have lost them if they started from the front, too. Oh well.
You can't win them all. But who needs them, anyway. Who wants to live in a fuddy-duddy's head!
Now, your head I like. Can't wait to be in it again. Real soon, I hope.
So, I repeat. Do not read "The Final Chapter", unless you like re-reading a book, and then I suggest you start from the beginning and read it right. (But it probably won't make any more sense than it did the first time, I'm afraid.)
Anyway, see you later.
THE END.
(Well, sort of.)
After the Happily Ever After
( Chapter 37- MP3 song demo by Lyndon DeRobertis)
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